The Happenings of Cafe Midnight
by Diamond Ace Junior
Summary: Welcome to Cafe Midnight. Come, pull up a chair in the café and have a coffee or curl up with a good book over in the bookstore. The choice is yours! Just watch out for Jack Harkness, the omnisexual barista who thinks he can flirt with anyone. (Also: NCIS, OUaT, MCU, PJO/HoO, WTNV)


Midnight is full of people, all talking happily and either eating or reading, or some combination of the three. Tony Stark, the building's landlord, walked in and headed straight for Steve Rogers, the town's only war veteran. He sat next to him and smiled sunnily.

"Hey, Cap."

"Tony." Steve nodded, munching on a sandwich.

"Good day? No one hassling you?" Tony continued. He worries about Steve. Some of the town assholes like to try and figure out if he has PTSD or not by trying to trigger him, and it's not pretty or nice.

"Of course not. How's Pepper?" Steve said with a shake of his head and a smile.

"Still a god-send. I'd never get anything done if she wasn't around. Still on for our date night tonight?" Tony grinned. He had a wonderful date planned for that night involving cheesy movies, cuddling and popcorn.

"Obviously." Steve murmurs.

Tony grinned. He was glad all parties involved in this relationship were accepting, because is everybody's first run at this and they're all nervous they'll mess up, Tony the most.

Jack Harkness, the cafe's best and flirtiest barista had overheard the conversation and popped over, leaning casually over the counter with a grin, his arms crossed on the counter to support him.

"Date? Any chance I can get in on that action?" he asked .

Steve glared daggers at him, but only Tony had the audacity to actually smack him on the cheek.

"Back off, Harkness. Private thing, between Pep, Cap and I." he said flatly, clearly not amused.

"I'm all for supporting happy relationships. Won't get in the way. Or at least, not unless you want me to." Jack said coyly, putting his hands up in mock surrender. He wasn't bothered by the slap. It wasn't the first time, and unless Jack became a monk, it wouldn't be the last.

Tony rolled his eyes at Jack, who had winked and then left to get back to work preparing drinks. He gave Steve a quick peck on the cheek and stood up, searching out the three Gate brothers who ran the place, Peter, Liam and Seamus.

Seamus was easiest to find, with his nearly scientifically-impossible, gravity-defying mop of brown hair and his long overcoat that he insisted on wearing all the time. And obviously, where one Gate is, the others were sure to follow.

"Gate boys, hey, hi. Can you guess what time of the month it is?" Tony smirked teasingly when he approached them.

"It could be time for a new rent joke." Seamus said with a thoughtful little tilt of his head, as if considering the possibility of that.

"Or is it possibly time for you to finally come clean about sleeping with our sister?" Liam said, his hands flapping around at a million miles a minute, constantly clasping and unclasping, and placing them in the pockets of his tweed jacket and out of them. He was the youngest Gate, barely out of his twenties, and he was really fidgety.

"Or maybe it's just his time of the month?" Peter said with a sarcastic half-smile and a head tilt. "Shut up." Tony said flatly, pointing at Seamus, "That never happened." he vehemently denied to Liam, "What the fuck man, I'm a guy." he said to Peter.

"That's not when she told us." Liam said with an overly pleasant smile while he held his hands behind his back and rocked forward a bit on his toes.

Peter just smiles brilliantly at Tony in a condescending manner.

"Rent's all there, now take your flirty playboy-ness somewhere else. We've got enough of that around as it is." Seamus said, handing over the rent money, glaring in the direction of Jack and Leo Valdez, one of the waiters. He was a huge flirt, but unlike Jack, who flirted with anything that moved, he mainly kept his flirting to girls. "Go find someone else in a committed relationship to bother."

Tony took the money and left, looking as if someone had kicked his puppy.

"Was it...was it something I said?" Seamus asked worriedly.

Jack, who had seen Seamus glare at him, had begun to migrate over when he heard the remark. Standing behind the counter next to Liam, he spoke up.

"I just caught your landlord talking about a date. I think he is in a loving, committed relationship. With at least two other people." he said, a look of deep thought fluttering over his face.

"I pissed off the landlord." Seamus groaned, running hand through his hair and making it stick up even further, if that was possible. "Aaaaand our rent's going up again next month."

"Idiot" Peter muttered, smacking Seamus upside the head.

Seamus dejectedly wanders off to find his best friend and girlfriend, Sarah Jane. He sat down next to her and kissed her cheek, immediately going into a long-winded rant about what he had just done to the business. Sarah Jane shut him up with a hug and a story about a guy who had come into the bookstore demanding lawn fertilizer.

"This just in, Penelope Gate, mother of the Gate brothers from Midnight Cafe and Books, they make a wonderful caramel latte, don't they Carlos? We should stop by after work and get one, wouldn't that be nice?" the voice of Cecil Palmer, the town's best radio show host, filtered through the stereo system above everyone's head. Cecil and his long-time partner had been running their show, Good Morning Night Vale, since they were teenagers, having won a contest for a one-time spot on the air and being so beloved they were let stay for good. Hell, the pair had gotten together live, on air, about ten years back or so.

"Cecil, focus on the show." came the oak-and-caramel voice of Cecil's partner, Carlos.

"Right, of course. Mother of the owners of Midnight café and books, Penelope Gate, has agreed to an interview on how they make their wonderful cara-" Cecil began. There was a muffled thud and a cry of protest followed by a hushed and heated discussion that people could barely hear beyond muffled noises. What was heard made people laugh. It was Carlos saying in an exasperated tone, 'Cecil, we don't advertise for free'.

"-on how she raised four of Arizona's nicest boys." Cecil finished, sounding very scripted and formal, far from himself. Seamus and Sarah could almost hear his blush.

"Indeed she has, Cecil. Tune in next week for that wonderful interview. Now, over to Jason with the weather." Carlos said, as composed as ever. It was presumed he nodded.

"Weather. It's happening." Jason Grace, the newest member of the Night Vale radio crew, said flatly and without much emotion. He was still getting used to the radio thing, and he was the intern who survived for the longest, so he got the job. People liked to call the job of Night Vale intern cursed, because they all died in terrible weather segment was always a bit weird. As if expected, when 'Waiting For the Bus in the Rain' by Satellite High blasted through the stereo, half of the customers, and most of the staff, began singing along in unison. This was a fairly common weather song.

"And that concludes our show for today. Stay tuned to listen to the dead static of lost hopes and dreams, and as always, good night, Night Vale, good night." came Cecil's voice after the song finished.

The end sounds of Good Morning Night Vale fade out to be replaced by the opening bars of accordion on Kevin's radio show, 'Free Interviews''. It was mainly just old re-runs since Kevin hadn't gotten a new interview in three years. Kevin Free was kind of the town asshole, along with Harold Saxon. Tony refused to give Kevin an interview because he kept trying to get Steve to have a panic attack and everyone else just thought he was a grade-A douchebag.

Steve had gotten up some time during the middle of the song to find Tony and Pepper, who were probably back at Tony's office, finishing work. Jack was off serving one of the café's regulars, Sheriff Deputy Gwen Cooper. Gwen was newer to the town, so she still maintained a thick Welsh accent, whereas the rest of the non-Americans had duller, more subtle accents that had faded over the years.

"You know Gwen, Ianto and I are always open for one more." Jack said with a flirtatious grin as he delivered her coffee.

"I've told you before, Jack, I have Rhys." Gwen said flatly, taking the coffee.

"We're open for two more as well, if that's what you're hinting at." Jack winked.

Gwen just rolled her eyes and drank her coffee. Jack left, swirling away to deliver an over-caffeinated pair of drinks to Tim McGee and Abby Sciuto, a pair of lab interns who came in every day after their hours were done and drank caffeine until midnight, sometimes running out for a few to shag in a phonebooth.

Meanwhile, in the secretaries' office, Bruce Banner and Ianto Jones were talking about Jack and Ianto's date the night before.

"So, how was your date last night? Jack do anything special?" Bruce asked, his reading glasses perched on his nose.

"Banner, Jack Harkness wouldn't know romantic if it bit him in the arse. He might know it, however, if it flirted with him." Ianto said, getting distracted by the subtle hints of a plan forming in his mind. He was only snapped out of it by the phone ringing. He answered it with his patented false cheer and talked to some girl who had placed an order for six copies of 'Home' by Chuck Shurley two weeks prior. Why anyone would want six copies of a book the store only stocked out of pity for the author, he had no idea.

Sarah Jane was sitting in her normal booth by the cut-off to the bookstore, reading a worn out copy of 'Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire' she had bought the day it came out from this very bookstore. It was how she and Seamus had become friends. Through a mutual love for 'Harry Potter' and a bookstore.

Speaking of Seamus, he plopped himself down on the space of booth next to Sarah and wordlessly handed her a vanilla milkshake.

"Hey, Sarah." he grinned.

"Oh, hey Seamus." Sarah smiled, looking up from her book in time to grab the milkshake before he accidentally dropped it on the table when he got distracted by something, which was often. "Thanks." she added with a small giggle.

"Any time, Sarah." Seamus smiled.

"Hey, have we got the new shipment of Luke and Sanjay's new book yet?" Sarah asked curiously, slipping her tasseled bookmark into her page and closing the book.

"Eager to read your baby brother's book? We have a couple boxes already in, I was going to put them out tonight, do you want a copy early?" Seamus smiled.

"Oh please. I wasn't allowed to proof read this one, so I have no idea what happens." Sarah said, her eyes alight with happiness. Seamus couldn't deny it was adorable.

Sarah Jane's younger brother, Luke, and his boyfriend Sanjay, were the authors of a very successful science-fiction series called 'Lost in Translation', about five aliens, called Romana, Theta, Sigma, Braxietal and Narvin, from the planet Gallifrey. They were all siblings, and the books centred on them exploring the Universe with their ship, the TARDIS, and meeting companions. The newest companions, Sam Wesson, John Campbell and Dean Smith, were a lawyer and two tech support workers from modern-day earth. The niche to them was that they had their memories wiped by a malevolent alien and were actually alien hunters, named Sam, John and Dean Colt. Sarah was probably the biggest fan. There were twelve books in total now, and she loved all of them dearly.

"Come along, Sarah. I think Pete and Lee won't mind if you get a copy. After all, you're the one who taught Lukey-boy to write." Seamus said playfully.

"Oh no, that was Mum and Dad. I just helped him meet Sanjay." Sarah said, smiling slightly.

"Oh, same difference." Seamus shrugged, standing up and offering Sarah his hand. She stood and took it and they headed for the storage room.

Will, the oldest Gate brother, was busying himself with returning a drink that the new barista Darcy had accidentally messed up. In his rush to get it replaced and not displease the customer, Will accidentally ran into Leo, dumping piping hot espresso down his uniform shirt.

"Will, man, we all love you, really, but you need to be more careful." Leo said, a pleading look in his eyes. He knew he shouldn't be ragging too hard on Will, but dammit, that had hurt.

"I'm sorry, Leo." Will said frantically, grabbing a tea towel and trying to dry off the younger barista.

Leo grabbed Will's wrist to get him to stop. "Will, its fine. I have a change of uniform in my locker, and I don't burn easily." he said softly, looking Will in the eyes.

"Oh, okay." Will said softly, picking up the broken pieces of ceramic and taking them to the garbage.

Meanwhile, the Winchester trio, John, Dean and Sam, were in the kids' section of the bookstore, nestled in beanbags. John was reading 'Green Eggs and Ham', Dean was reading 'Love You Forever', and Sam was nestled in a ball, sleeping. Dean had nicked one of the little plastic spoons from the cafe and stuck it in Sam's mouth. Sam immediately bolted awake, glaring at Dean.

"Dude, what was that for?" Sam muttered.

"It's a joke, Sammy, what, can't take it?" Dean smirked.

"Play nice, boys." John said calmly, flipping the page of his book.

"Yes, sir." Dean said sharply, straightening up and apologizing to Sam. He held his older brother in frankly too high regards, and he never wanted to disappoint him. Ever.

"I'm your older brother, not a military general. Well, not yet anyway." John said with a raised eyebrow. He had enlisted in the military a few years back, but had yet to make the rank of general. He was too busy raising his brothers and helping out at the coffee shop to pay for the cost of raising a family.

"Really? Dean, you're 26. Must you insist on being childish?" John chided, returning to his book. Why did his goddaughter enjoy this drivel so much?

Dean just glares at his brothers.

Hours later, around 4 in the morning, Balthazar and Gabriel Novak trudged their way into the shop covered in body glitter and wearing angel wings. Gabriel's were a rich gold colour, whereas Balthazar's were a dull, deep red colour. Gabriel's clothes seem to be on backwards and possibly inside out, while Balthazar looked quite unkempt. They threw themselves into a booth and ordered when Jack came over to them. Gabe got and Irish coffee and Balthazar just straight-up whiskey, even though the shop wasn't technically supposed to serve that. But it was the early morning and Jack was in charge, so whiskey it was.

Off in the corner, a Latino man with a strong jaw and short, tousled black hair and a light-skinned, blonde haired man with a purple streak in his hair were sucking face, with an admirable intensity. Gabriel made a small noise of admiration and Balthazar looked on in awe.

Jack returned with their drinks quickly and made an off-handed comment about how 'Cecil and Carlos have been doing that since 1am and wouldn't stop 'til at least 7' and handed them their drinks.

"So, Jack. You busy?" Balthazar asked, drawing out the man's name.

"What kind of busy?" Jack asked with a quirked brow.

"Busy enough to not want a go at what corner boys are up to." Balthazar said smoothly.

"They don't share." Jack said wistfully.

"Do they even breathe?" Gabriel asked as one of them, the Latino, started fiddling with the blonde's tie.

"They need to teach me how to do that, that's a valuable skill they have there." Jack said,

"No kidding, they could probably break records." Balthazar commented.

"Ianto tried timing them once, but stopped the stopwatch after a while, said he needed it for _other _things." Jack said with a suggestive smirk.

"What kinds of _other_ things?" Balthazar asked as innocently as he could.

"You're a smart boy, figure it out for yourself. I'll be right back with your drinks." Jack said, his coat swirling behind him as he turned.

"Think we could find a coat like that somewhere?" Balthazar asked, gazing thoughtfully after Jack.

No. Just no. Do not get with the barista. Not only will Anna kill you on the spot, but Cassie frequents this joint. That is Jack Harkness. Guy's taken." Gabriel said threateningly. "Wait, we already _have_ drinks. What the hell?"

"Castiel, in this place? Maybe for the books. And brother dear, if he were in an exclusive

relation, he would not have been flirting." Balthazar commented.

Jack came back with another Irish coffee and another whiskey, placing them on the table next to the old ones.

"While I was over there, my ears started burning. Thought it might have been the sun, but then I realized someone was talking about me." Jack said casually. Well, he was always casual, unles someone pissed him off.

"Gabriel here was telling me you're taken. I'm inclined to believe him, because gorgeous people should never be single by their own accord, but I would like to hear it from you. So, are you single?" Balthazar asked casually.

"Depends on who's asking." Jack said with a wink, walking away.

"Should I…?" Balthazar asked, taking a sip of his new drink.

"I can't stop you from doing anything. I may be older, but you are more wayward. Fuck him if you want." Gabe sighed, muttering around his mug.

"And that's why you're my favourite brother, Gabriel." Balthazar grinned, downing his drink and heading after Jack. When he reached him, he gave him his best, 'I'm interested in you' look, and leaned against the bar sort of sideways. "Have any more of that whiskey?" Balthazar asked.

"As a matter of fact, I do. Don't tell the bosses, though." Jack said, turning around and bending over to reach into the cupboards below and to the left of the sink. Balthazar took the opportunity to admire his arse. "Here it is." He the was holding bottle in both his hands and he put it down on the counter, grabbing a glass a moment later, pouring some of the alcohol into it.

Balthazar took a sip, and then offered the glass to Jack. "Have some."

"I'm on the job." Jack said, and despite his words, taking the glass and downing some of the liquid before passing it back.

"Never stops me." Balthazar remarks, taking the glass back and sipping at it as well before putting it down. "Now, Jack…"

Over the course of the next half hour, Balthazar's and Jack's drinking escalated to the point where the bottle was almost empty and they were drinking right from it in between snogging each other senseless.

"We're almost out of booze." Jack laughed, taking a final swig and passing it back to Balthazar, who finished it off.

"Now we're totally out." Balthazar said, placing the bottle on the counter, but missing, and having it tip over and almost shatter.

"You know where things generally lead when I'm out of booze and with a gorgeous man?" Jack said, before pressing a kiss to Balthazar's neck and catching the bottle.

"I get the general idea." Balthazar said, slipping Jack's braces off his shoulders and starting on the buttons of his dark blue shirt.

The various university students that were dotted around the café writing papers in a 5am coffee-fueled-self-hate fest were, unsurprisingly, unfazed by the activities going on behind the counter, as it was normally Jack who manned the coffee machine at night and this was a common occurrence, though it was generally the Welsh secretary joining him, not this other man. That, and the fact that there was the couple in the corner who _never stopped kissing._

Jack had managed to get Balthazar's shirt off, but he still had an undershirt on, despite his blue shirt having been discarded.

"Who wears braces _and _a belt?" Balthazar said, as he worked on the aforementioned belt, trying to get it off. "Can't keep your pants on?"

"Something like that." Jack laughed, helping Balthazar's less than precise fingers remove his belt, and then kissing him slowly, savouring the moment, and letting Balthazar undershirt work his undershirt up and over his chest and he lifted his arms to allow it to be removed completely, and then wrapping his arms around Balthazar's waist and then pulling him closer and letting his fingers wander down to the other man's arse.

Jack then heard a squawk of surprise from the direction of the doorway. He stopped his perusal of Balthazar's body to look at see who it was. What he found was a very scandalized looking Liam standing open-mouthed in the doorway, staring at the display Balthazar and Jack were putting on.

"What." he paused and took a deep breath. "Is going on here?"

"I was _going_ to shag him senseless, but I severely doubt that's happening now." Balthazar said dryly, looking at Liam in distaste.

"We left you in _charge_." Liam said to Jack, clearly horrified by the prospect. "An' you were shagging someone at work." he hissed this last bit, as if it were a deadly secret.

"I wasn't really shagging him yet." Jack drawled, the picture of calm. He pulled back on his white undershirt and then his braces back on, not bothering with the discarded button-up. "Looks like the party's over." he said to Balthazar, projecting an air of nonchalance.

Liam spluttered. "You can't...he just...I'm calling Peter." he said, sounding utterly defeated, as he pulled out his cell phone from the inside pocket of his tweed jacket and started pressing the buttons. He then held the phone to his ear, letting it ring.

"WHAT IN THE LOVE OF ALL THINGS FANTASTIC ARE YOU WAKING ME UP AT THIS HOUR FOR?" came Peter's voice over the speaker a couple rings later. Liam held the phone away from his face so he wouldn't be deafened.

"You should come around to the shop." Liam said promptly, not wasting words on explaining and hanging up. He stashed the phone back in his pocket again, and looked to Jack.

Balthazar had tried to slink away, but Jack pulled him back by the waistband of his pants, brandishing the sharpie they labeled drinks with. He wrote his number on the back of Balthazar's hand. "We've got unfinished business." Jack said with a cheesy grin, letting Balthazar go again.

"That we do." Balthazar agreed, and then took his leave, passing Peter in the doorway on his way out of the shop.

"What are you calling me for at," Peter consulted his watch. "5:37 in the morning?"

"He," Liam pointed at Jack. "Was very nearly shagging someone on the job." he managed to sound even more indignant and scandalized than the first time he'd said it. Cecil ad Carlos and even stopped snogging for a few minutes to listen intently.

"If anything, I was providing a service. He was a customer." Jack said with a grin.

"Oh, is that all?" Peter said, unimpressed. He turned to Jack. "Who was it this time?"

"This time?!" Liam squawked, but he was paid no attention by his older brother and employee.

"One of the strippers from the Angel." Jack said, grinning at Peter.

"Thought you had better taste than that." Peter said absently. "Well then, if you haven't actually desecrated the counter yet, I'd like a nice pot of tea." he turned and went to sit in one of the many armchairs in the room, bringing Liam with him, Liam still gaping like a fish. "Close your mouth, flies'll get in." Peter said, bringing Liam back to reality.

"Are we going to fire him?" Liam asked.

"Nah, he's an exhibitionist if I ever saw one, he just needs to show off once in a while." Peter dismissed, waving a hand. "He knows how to clean up after himself, and that's good enough for me." Peter left no room for argument. A couple moments later, Jack placed a tray with the tea in front of them. Peter brightened up considerably. "Now, milk and sugar?"

Jack rolled his eyes, locating the requested items and placing them in front of Peter. Peter gave a gracious nod and mixed some in with his tea.

Liam had retreated to the kids' section to try and remove the image from his mind with Robert Munsch books and a stuffed monkey he named Bradley.


End file.
